A Letter to TEENAGERS
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Teenhood is Real; Not a Rehearsal
Dear Teenager,
Thank you for reading my previous letter and I am excited to write to you again today. It is a new week and the vibe to reach into your mind feels so good. In my last letter, I told you I would be sharing my stories, my experiences and most importantly the principles that guided me during my teenage years.
Reality dawned on me sometime in August 2008 that my parents were going to be separated, I was 13 and I could remember travelling with my mum and younger brother to Ibadan, Oyo state to sit for an entrance examination to a new school. Let pick it from the top, I had changed school twice that year and I had attended two different schools for entirely different classes and I was moving to my third year of Junior School as it is called in Nigeria. I was yanked off from my beloved Ilorin, Kwara State to Live in Iwo, Osun State that I had never heard off and has been my home for the last 12 years and to school in Ibadan, Oyo state which is my state of origin. I was not mentally, emotionally or even psychologically prepared for this transition but it had to be done, my mum gave all the support she could and I still appreciate that every day but it was not enough to help me through my new phase.
Let me say that being a teenager is a phase and everything around you at the start of that phase would influence your growth for the rest of that phase. It could be anything from Academic challenges, Emotional imbalance, Financial lapses of your parents or their Marriage as it was in my case should not alter the process of you living a life of stability and sustainability during this phase, they are all part of the process. I know you may ask but I never asked for any of those to happen, YES You never did but you need to walk through them with your head and shoulder high to create a LIFE you Desire and Deserve.
The teenagehood is real and it's not a Rehearsal for Adulthood, every decisions, successes, failure and even compromise you make during this phase counts towards your adulthood. You have to sit and draw up the BEST structure for your life putting into account the challenges around you presently. I wish to clarify, I do not wish to push you to perfection or early adulthood but one important principle I have learnt, and believe every teenager must learn at the very beginning is ACCOUNTABILITY. At age 13, I knew that been accountable to myself which was very important to my growing and here is why.
My Mum had to going in for early retirement at her Job at the University of Ilorin and to pick up a fresh appointment at Bowen University, Iwo. She decided to enrol us to a school in Ibadan where my older Cousin attends. My older cousin became my accountability partner without him being aware. Senior Tolu has he was popularly called literally kept me in my Toes. It is important to say that he is now a Veterinary Doctor with a Practice in Ibadan, Oyo State in need of a Veterinary Doctor call him on (+2348078495289).
I was away from my mum for the first time; I did not mention earlier my brother and I had to move to the boarding house with Senior Tolu. I was now struggling with two major changes at the same time. Dr Tolu back then was an all A’s student, good moral and social values and was tipped to be the Senior Prefect for the Class of 2011. I knew from the very first day in that compound I had to study and watch him, trust me I was able to shape and mould myself in one term learning values from him. Teachers and Classmates noticed this and with my early and fast growth of beards, I got the Name ‘PAPA’ that means Old Man. Unfortunately, my grades were not in synchronization with my character another story for another letter.
My accountability helped me in creating a certain value system that was not expected of a 13-year-old boy, my classmates felt I was odd and timid for a fact been odd was true, at that point I saw all the normal teenage vibes as unnecessary and a waste of time as my opinions was always the opposite of theirs most times and even till today. I remember in my final class of high school during a party, I decided to wear corporate wear(No Tie ) against the trend of ‘carrot short, toms shoe and some sleek body hug polo shirt’. A classmate of mine accosted me and told me and I quote in her words ‘Why can't you just act like a normal teenager, you had to dress like an old man to the party’. I was a little bit hurt by the comment but she did not know it was intentional, I was creating a brand image of myself.
There were so many days I had to tell myself repeatedly that I was responsible for my actions and I would be the largest shareholder of the consequences anytime I was about to do something silly, Was I a perfect Teenager through this Phase? NO, but it was easier for me to walk through many issues that would normally have drowned me; I measured my growth by my standard and not that of my classmate. Dear Teenager, you are accountable to yourself and not your friends, Peer Pressure would always be around but you can lessen the hold of the pressure on yourself by being intentional with your value system. I picked the majority of my values in my teenage phase and I am grateful I did, they have helped me countless times in making decisions and doing the right things as a young adult.
Let me put this out here I had an eventful Teenage hood although it may not have been as colourful, adventurous and dramatic has some of my peers. I picked up my reading culture, watching amazing movies, News and most importantly my interest in Politics, History and Law. In reality living a calm, principled and most importantly a purposeful life does not rob of your teenage vibes as long as they are SAFE and HEALTHY, you what I mean guys don't play the adult card, for now, you cant handle the GAME and the aftermath of the GAME.
Teenagers who are millennials are currently at a high risk of skidding off the road, there is so much misinformation, misdirection from ignorant folks who are in the same ship or have wrecked their ship and have drowned. I ask you to slow down today, assess the road before you keep moving. Life is a process and you cannot succeed in the next phase if you have not laid the foundation now. Your Teenage phase matters and I cannot overemphasise its ripple effect on your adult phase.
Once again thank you for taking the time to read and I trust you will write soon to me on WhatsApp: (+234)8162235943, Twitter:@ayodeleiyanuolu, email: dearteenager1@gmail.com.
Until my next letter, Learn, Live and Love. Stay Safe
Best Wishes,
Ayodele Iyanu-Oluwa
